Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
