A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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