Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize