I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
