Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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