i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize