She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
