i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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