Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
