Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
