you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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