So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
