I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
