Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
