I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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