If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
