please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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