What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
