There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
