we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
