I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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