I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
thus making me awesome and them whores
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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