best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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