If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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