just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
how drunk are you?
Several
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
