Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
