i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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