So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
