you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
