just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
