she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
