btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize