Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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