the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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