I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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