You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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