Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
