The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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