pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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