I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
