Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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