is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Say something about gay babies.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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