rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
