I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
