Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
