I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
