sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
