I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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