he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
A bitchslap is in order.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
