Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
