you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
