Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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