she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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