im about as happy as oj after his trial
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
