I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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