Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
sex in a hospital.. check
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Randomize
