After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
