he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
