well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
