At least make sure they are 18
Why
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
