Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
