i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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