you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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