You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
